Back Up the Rabbit Hole: an Interview with Jeff Einstein

Pete – Welcome, Jeff. What evidence can you cite to support
your assertion that we’ve passed through the looking glass
and plunged down the rabbit hole?

Jeff – We can begin with a litany of online performance
indicators, including the prevalence of sub-$1 CPMs, click-
through rates firmly ensconced at statistical zero, click
fraud estimates of anywhere from 25-85% (depending on your
choice of networks and industry experts), not to mention
the insolvency and failure of thousands of media franchises,
many of them brand names with long, distinguished track
records. In more sober environments with more sober leader-
ship such massive failure and systemic collapse might give
us pause, but as an industry we’ve responded instead by
speeding up, doubli ng down and plunging ourselves even
deeper down the rabbit hole in Lewis Carroll’s vision of
madness, a world where up is down and down is up. If any-
thing, we’ve accelerated our commitments to the very same
insanity that got us here in the first place.

Pete – That’s pretty harsh. Aren’t many of our problems
right now simple byproducts of a deep recession?

Jeff – No, I don’t think so. While the recession certainly
hurts like crazy, our problems don’t result from the
recession as much as the recession results from our
problems. Performance across all channels has actually
been in decline for a couple of decades now, regardless
of the economy and in spite of explosive industry growth.

Pete – Then why do you think media performance is so anemic
these days?

Jeff – Mostly because media performance is a myth to begin
with. We’re chasing a great white whale. Media aren’t
supposed to perform. The message should perform, not the
media. The onus to perform should weigh on the advertisers
and the agencies, not on the publishers and content
providers; their only job is to aggregate and somehow
entertain or inform an audience, the same now as it was
fifty years ago.

Only with the digitally-driven ascent of discrete media
agencies as the crown jewels of global media holding
companies did we suddenly discover an excuse to divorce
the medium from the message and shift the onus of
performance from the message to the medium in the process.
But in truth, the media simply can’t perform because they
were never designed to. And that’s why, despite all the lip
service, advertisers and agencies don’t buy performance.
They buy ubiquity, the exact opposite. Rather than assume
responsibility for their own lack of performance,
advertisers and agencies would rather hedge their bets and
buy more and more of something that’s worth less and less
with each passing day. Big advertisers and big agencies
talk performance, but they buy ubiquity because they know
the media can’t perform.

Pete – Lots of industry folks are calling for a complete
online marketing overhaul, including new metrics, more
sophisticated targeting technologies, more research, more
data-based marketing, and more social media. What do you
think?

Jeff – I think new metrics are just another way to shoot
the messenger, another way to rearrange the deck chairs on
a sinking ship. Besides, in marketing applications metrics
never really describe what works as much as they describe
what can be sold. We already know that the continued growth
of online ad budgets will rely increasingly on our ability
to sell more branding, in no small part because we’ve
invested so heavily in ad serving technologies and infra-
structure over the past 15 years. The perceived need to
sell more branding explains why the new metrics being
proposed now all seek to measure the very things the
industry arrogantly dismissed as useless and effete back
in the mid-1990s, all the intangibles that drove the
growth of great branding media like print, radio and TV
for decades. We cut off our noses to spite our faces 15
years ago in a foolish and immature effort to distinguish
digital media from their analog counterparts, and now the
bed we’ve made for ourselves is wrecking everyone’s sleep,
our own not least. Each new metric just adds another rifle
to the circular firing squad.

Pete – What about behavioral targeting?

Jeff – Anyone with any historical perspective will right-
fully conclude that each additional layer of targeting
technology increases costs and reduces performance. As
a result, each additional layer of targeting technology
further burdens publishers and networks alike. The promise
of digital scale starts working against them; the more
traffic they attract and the more advertising they sell,
the faster they go out of business. McLuhan had it right:
any medium pushed to extreme will begin to operate in
reverse.

Sophisticated targeting technologies don’t work because
commercial media are now and always have been on-demand,
and in an on-demand media universe it simply makes far
less sense to target the audience and far more sense to
let the audience target us instead, exactly why search
works so much better than display advertising, and exactly
– despite industry claims to the contrary — why neither
search nor targeted display advertising is scalable at the
end of the day. This much we know with absolute certainty:
no one demands more advertising, relevant or otherwise,
and everyone is equipped to avoid it. That’s the primary
reason why online advertising fails at least 99.9 percent
of the time, and why TV and radio executives are having
nervous breakdowns.

Pete – Should I assume from your aversion to behavioral
targeting that you’re also no fan of data-based marketing?

Read the full interview here…
Back Up the Rabbit Hole: an Interview with Jeff Einstein

————————————————————
Questions? Comments? Email me at: quote (at) Quotes2u.com
————————————————————

Follow Your Favorite GopherCentral Publications on Twitter:
http://www.gophertweets.com/ More Coming Soon!

————————————————————
End of MEDIA PERSPECTIVES
Copyright 2010 by NextEra Media All rights reserved.

I remember driving some years ago along the Olympic
Peninsula south of Seattle in the Pacific Northwest on a
cold and rainy winter day. I had expected to find solace
in miles and miles of verdant old growth rain forest,
but instead encountered acre after acre of clear-cut
desolation, replete with Orwellian signage that euphemized
the devastation as managed forests.

Fade out, fade in: Nowadays when I hear agencies talk about
managed expectations, I can’t help but think of the media
landscape as a gigantic managed forest, clear-cut and
desolate. Nowadays it seems that the phrase managed expect-
ations is little more than a euphemism for lowered expect-
ations.

In fact, I’m beginning to suspect that we don’t truly
manage our expectations as much as they manage us. In the
Brothers Einstein, my little boutique agency, my brother
Mike and I predicate our work and relationships partly on
what we call the Albert Keeler Principle, an amalgam
borrowed from the sage counsel of two 20th-century American
giants, Albert Einstein, and Hall of Fame baseball great,
Wee Willie Keeler.

According to Albert Einstein…

No problem can be solved from the same level of conscious-
ness that created it.

And according to Mr. Keeler, we should…

Hit ‘em where they ain’t.

Notably, Messrs. Einstein and Keeler made it a point to
approach their respective disciplines as perpetual out-
siders. They eschewed convention and looked for the
anomalies, for the exceptions, not the rules. They looked
for the mistakes of others, pounced on them and in between
them, and ascended to greatness. Indeed, they ascended to
greatness in no small measure because they expected great-
ness, from themselves not least.

In his wonderful essay, Self-Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson
wrote that “…a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of
little minds.” But a foolish consistency breeds more than
little minds. Fealty to convention and consistency promotes
scale and quantity at the expense of intimacy and quality,
converts relationships into commodities, and breeds lower
expectations. And nothing breeds little minds like lowered
expectations.

If we want less we need only expect less. Case in point:
George W. Bush. No one expected greatness from him, and
look what happened. Likewise, no one expects anyone in
Congress to do anything except pander and raise money
for re-election, so that’s pretty much all they do.
Performance, it seems, rises and falls with our expect-
ations. If we want more, we need to raise our expect-
ations. If we want more from the Obama administration,
we need to raise our expectations accordingly. Cultural
greatness emerges only from cultures of great expectations.

The same expectation-to-performance ratio exists across
the board in all of our relationships. The more we expect
of ourselves, the more we can expect from others in return.
My brother Mike and I learned some years ago not to manage
to our bottom line. We learned instead to manage to our
expectations, which — like our fees — only go up as a
result. Conversely, managing to the bottom line will almost
always reduce performance and breed little minds. Managing
to the bottom line will almost always lower our expect-
ations.

We have become so inured to failure as a consequence and
companion of digital scale that we have all but stopped
asking for more. Yet A Course in Miracles suggests that
the problem is not that we ask for too much, rather that
we don’t ask for nearly enough. The same is true of our
expectations. We fear raising them because we fear the
ensuing disappointment. But we demonstrate a natural
tendency to become our attention over time, and the more
we focus on diminished expectations because we fear
failure, the more failure we guarantee. In the end, our
expectations — like our fears — manage us.

We cannot continue to expect our digital communications
technologies to compensate for relationships that simply
don’t exist, because business describes much more than
commerce. Business describes relationships, and the
relationships in our lives describe how and where and
with whom we spend our time. Our relationships shape our
expectations, which then return to shape our relation-
ships. In recent years, however, our relationships with
others have been truncated by the sheer time and resources
we devote to our relationships with digital media
technologies. The quality of our relationships and the
level of our expectations suffer commensurately. It’s
time for agencies and advertisers to get real with them-
selves and walk their respective relationship talk.

The only real antidote to diminished expectations in the
digital age is to exchange the emotional desolation of
scale for the intimacy of human contact, one voice or one
face at a time. Don’t look for quick and easy ways to
expand your contact database; search instead for ways to
eliminate shallow, technology-driven relationships and the
massive overhead they incur. Accordingly, don’t manage
your relationships by email. Don’t manage them by text
message or tweet. Schedule some time to break bread with
your clients (or agency). Pick up the fucking phone before
you forget how to use it, before you forget the power of
your own voice, and before there is nothing left to manage
but managed forests.

———————————————————–
Questions? Comments? Email me at: quote (at) Quotes2u.com
————————————————————

The following is a transcript from a phone call between a
behavioral targeting salesman and a certain Mr. Faust, CEO
of Anything for a Buck Enterprises…

Faust: Hello, and thanks for calling Anything for a Buck.
Faust speaking.

BT Salesman: Good morning, Mr. Faust. You don’t know me but
have I got a deal for you!

Faust: Great! I’m always interested in a good deal. Tell me
about it.

BT Salesman: Well, Mr. Faust, I’ve got this spectacular new
technology that will allow you to collect the most intimate
details of your customers’ online lives.

Faust: Sounds a little creepy. I like it.

BT Salesman: Exactly! You’ll know every move they make,
every Web site they visit, how long they spend there, what
they buy, what they do – everything!

Faust: Sounds downright diabolical. But what’s the point?

BT Salesman: You’ll be able to increase your online ad
performance by up to 50%.

Faust: Well, hold on for a moment. Let me do the math: A
50% lift of my usual point one percent CTR. Hmmm. That
brings my performance all the way up to .15%. But even
with the added lift I’m still at statistical zero. Sounds
like much ado about nothing to me.

BT Salesman: Well, you know the CTR is just the tip of the
iceberg. You’ll also be able to sell the data you collect!

Faust: Sell the data? To whom?

BT Salesman: To anyone who asks. You could even give it
away to the government!

Faust: Won’t people who come to my Web site object to being
tracked like escaped convicts and having their data sold to
the highest bidder or given away to the government?

BT Salesman: Naaah. Not to worry. Most folks won’t even
know.

Faust: What about those who do?

BT Salesman: We’ll solicit their informed consent.

Faust: Informed consent? What idiot would agree to some-
thing like that?

BT Salesman: Anyone who wants relevant ads.

————————————————————

================ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR… ==================
Top Videos Of The Week

1. Funniest Moments In Comedy
http://c.gophercentral.com/BqmZ

2. Annette Funicello – Surfin
http://c.gophercentral.com/2cUP

3. Learn Yoga
http://c.gophercentral.com/qdjL

4. Beyonce – At Last
http://c.gophercentral.com/lqgw

5. Classic Johnny Carson
http://c.gophercentral.com/JngY

6. Amazing Nature Stills
http://c.gophercentral.com/LApX

————————————————————

Faust: Relevant ads? Who the hell wants any ads?

BT Salesman: Studies conclude that consumers prefer
relevant ads to non-relevant ads.

Faust: Studies, eh? So where’s the informed consent part?

BT Salesman: We’ll provide you with a simple boilerplate
privacy statement and consent form.

Faust: Now you’re talking. How long is the consent form?

BT Salesman: Well, the standard privacy statement and form
is eight pages, but you can add to it if you want.

Faust: Eight pages? Who the hell’s gonna read eight pages?

BT Salesman: No one I know. But they don’t have to read it
to accept it.

Faust: You mean people will consent to something they never
read?

BT Salesman: Of course. You think any laws would get passed
by Congress if they actually had to read what they sign?

Faust: Good point. But that’s hardly informed consent.
Seems more like uninformed consent.

BT Salesman: Informed, uninformed. Let’s not split hairs,
Mr. Faust. Whattaya say?

Faust: I don’t know. Sounds a little ethically challenged
to me.

BT Salesman: Exactly! I knew you’d appreciate it! Can I
write you up?

Faust: Well, much as the idea of spying on everyone who
visits my Web site appeals to me, and much as the thought
of selling the most intimate details of my customers’ lives
to the highest bidder…

BT Salesman: And don’t forget the government.

Faust: Right. Right. Right. And much as the corruptive
union of corporate and state power entices me, I gotta
say that I just don’t feel right about this one. Just
seems way over the top and without any ethical or moral
foundation whatsoever – even for me.

BT Salesman: Well, Mr. Faust, I appreciate your candor.
Would it be okay if we keep your phone number and email
address on file to keep you posted on future product
updates?

Faust: I suppose. You need my email address?

BT Salesman: No thanks, Mr. Faust. We’ve already got it.
(Click…bzzzzzzzz.)

Faust: Hello?

————————————————————

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with very select rapid-growth clients to
help define and execute healthy brand strategies in a
toxic media environment.

———————————————————–

You’ve heard it said a thousand times before: Ask a stupid
question, get a stupid answer. Seems like a simple and
unassailable hypothesis – at least for those with half a
brain. Suitably equipped and ever the contrarian, there-
fore, I set out the other day to challenge conventional
wisdom yet again, this time armed with my OBERSC (Official
Brothers Einstein Research Survey Clipboard) and not one
but two appropriately stupid questions:

Question #1: Do you want more or fewer ads?

Question #2: How do you want your ads, relevant or
irrelevant?

What amazes me in retrospect is not that those with clear
vested interests in behavioral targeting technologies
persist with silly claims that consumers actually want
relevant ads, but that they a) can find enough unwitting
pigeons willing to stand still long enough to answer such
abysmally stupid and patently self-serving questions in
the first place, and b) are willing to pay for the results.

My amazement is predicated in part on responses to my
admittedly unscientific survey of 52 individuals, all of
whom I queried recently either at the Queens Plaza Mall
(32 respondents) or the Noguchi Museum (20 respondents),
both in New York City.

In response to question #1, only 42% said they want fewer
ads, good news for advertisers — at least at first blush.
The other 58%, however, told me to get lost (or less civil
words to that effect). Not a single respondent stated a
preference for more ads (even among those who didn’t
threaten me right away with bodily harm). Of course
reaction to the first question all but eliminated any need
to ask the second question; one blatantly stupid question
seemed more than sufficient.

Upon meticulous and painstaking cross-tabulation of the
resulting survey data, a number of possible extrapolations
emerged:

1) You don’t always get a stupid response to a stupid
question (those who refused to answer my stupid questions
spoke volumes simply by walking — or running — away);

2) It’s critically important to incentivize (bribe) survey
respondents (or at least seal off their escape) if you
intend to ask more than one stupid question; and

3) The only way to justify stupid research is to ask the
wrong stupid question first.

————————————————————

================ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR… ==================
Top Videos Of The Week

1. Hendrix at Woodstock
http://c.gophercentral.com/xXo9

2. Marine Silent Marching
http://c.gophercentral.com/L6Ba

3. Brad Pitt – Mr. & Mrs.Smith
http://c.gophercentral.com/2YrM

4. Classic Blues Brothers
http://c.gophercentral.com/7J1b

5. NFL Greats – Walter Payton
http://c.gophercentral.com/wFU2

6. Classic Spike Jones
http://c.gophercentral.com/iy4y

————————————————————

And so it is with behavioral targeting advocates who claim
consumers actually want relevant ads: they prove their
hypothesis by asking the wrong stupid question first.
Still, it’s a brilliant and time-honored agency strategy
designed to exploit the fears, uncertainties and doubts
(the FUDs) of the only ones insipid and lazy enough to
foot the bill for it all: the advertisers. Those of you
who have any agency experience already know that no agency
ever went broke by overestimating the intelligence of its
own clients. You also likely know that virtually all
performance metrics are devised by agencies as a means to
bill for the research required to justify and defend the
metrics, however specious.

Failed metrics that agencies can no longer defend and sell
to their hapless clients (like CTRs that now hover at
statistical zero) will be swapped ASAP for those that can
– like black box metrics designed to promote and sell
“relevancy.” Of course the new generation of metrics to
support behavioral targeting technologies and the pursuit
of relevancy will require truckloads of research and
analysis to defend, not to mention tons of user data
collected from thousands of disparate sources. Ironically,
however, the relevancy of the message becomes entirely
irrelevant the very moment data replaces media as the
dominant commodity in the pipeline. Because who needs
relevance if the real product being sold is data?

Of course advertisers who invest in behavioral targeting
are perfectly free to waste their advertising and market-
ing budgets any way they want. But their investments in
behavioral targeting technologies come with a perfidious
hidden tax, one no longer measured merely in standard
currencies, because the currencies at risk this time
aren’t just their money and their brand equity. The true
currencies at risk this time are our privacy and our
freedom.

———————————————————–

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with very select rapid-growth clients to
help define and execute healthy brand strategies in a
toxic media environment.

———————————————————–

Current behavioral targeting (BT) controversies among
consumer advocacy groups and government agencies focus
primarily on how these aggressive new technologies affect
consumer privacy (and there’s plenty of cause for concern
among privacy advocates and legislators alike). But I’d
like to focus this article instead on how behavioral
targeting affects advertisers — where the proverbial
buck to fund BT campaigns literally begins and ends.

So here’s my first BT question to advertisers and their
agency proxies: What the hell are you thinking? Where
do you find any evidence whatsoever to suggest that
subsequent layers of targeting technology do anything
except raise costs, drive down performance, and reinforce
the one thing that we already know for certain about
on-demand media: that no one demands more advertising?

Contrary to industry claims, behavioral targeting isn’t
marketing at all; it’s virtual stalking, a predatory
behavior that relies almost exclusively on stealth
(because no one would tolerate the overt collection of
sensitive behavioral data). How desperate are we that
we feel the need to lurk in the shadows like digital
stalkers and hunt our prey? Desperate enough apparently
to risk association with a technology that’s already
squarely aligned in the crosshairs of lawmakers,
government agencies and consumer advocacy groups alike.
The most relevant question for advertisers to ask them-
selves about BT is not how to make it work, but what to
do after it fails to work. Where do advertisers turn
next?

Advocates of BT claim that consumers want relevant ads.
But that’s patently false and self serving, not to
mention utterly absurd (right up there on the Alice in
Wonderland index with the myth of consumer demand). In
fact, I would challenge any proponent of BT to identify
even a single consumer advocacy group that embraces it,
or even accepts the notion that consumers want ads at
all, relevant or otherwise. No, this is clearly not at
all about what consumers want. And it’s clearly not about
what actually works – not when average clickthrough rates
are 15-20 times lower than they were less than a decade
ago, when the first BT technologies appeared. This is
only about what BT providers and agencies can sell to
advertisers, the guys who foot the bill. And advertisers
who buy BT are buying a pregnant pig in a poke, a porcine
technology loaded with more legal liabilities than
thalidomide and tobacco combined.

The fact that so many marketing and advertising trade
associations have suddenly rallied around BT to ward off
potential government regulation of the digital marketing
industry is not only a measure of our desperation, but a
measure of our profound disconnect from reality. To think
that we can justify such hyper-aggressive behavior as a
means to initiate or sustain meaningful relationships
stinks of Orwellian Newspeak. BT will make industry faux
pas like spam and malware seem in comparison like choir
boys, and in the end the only ones whose behavior will be
targeted is our own — when we suddenly find ourselves
subpoenaed to testify before Congress or a judge and jury.
We are playing with fire.

Legal liabilities notwithstanding, what evidence out there
suggests that BT works for advertisers (or for anyone
except the agencies and BT technology providers)? What
evidence can agencies and BT technology providers offer
to justify the added commitment, expense and significant
risks associated with their products and services?
Advertisers, before you throw more good money after bad,
ask yourselves how BT suddenly makes knowable what the
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle – a mainstay of quantum
physics theory — says we can’t know with any certainty.
Financier George Soros discusses his variation on the
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle (what he called the Human
Uncertainty Principle)in his book, “Alchemy of Finance”:

“People’s understanding of the world in which they live
cannot correspond to the facts and be complete and coherent
at the same time. Insofar as people’s thinking is confined
to the facts, it is not sufficient to reach decisions; and
insofar as it serves as the basis of decisions, it cannot
be confined to the facts. The human uncertainty principle
applies to both thinking and reality. It ensures that our
understanding is often incoherent and always incomplete
and introduces an element of genuine uncertainty – as
distinct from randomness – into the course of events. “The
human uncertainty principle bears a strong resemblance to
Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, which holds that the
position and momentum of quantum particles cannot be
measured at the same time. But there is an important
difference. Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle does not
influence the behavior of quantum particles one iota;
they would behave the same way if the principle had never
been discovered. The same is not true of the human
uncertainty principle. Theories about human behavior can
and do influence human behavior. Marxism had a tremendous
impact on history, and market fundamentalism is having a
similar influence today.”

The observer effect described above states that the very
act of observing something (or someone) changes the object
of our observation, an effect not lost on Internet founder
Sir Tim Berners-Lee in recent comments on BT…

“We use the internet without a thought that a third party
would know what we have just clicked on. Yet the URLs
[webpages] people use reveal a huge amount about their
lives, loves, hates and fears. This is extremely sensitive
information.

“People use the web in a crisis, when wondering whether
they have a sexually transmitted disease, or cancer, when
wondering if they are homosexual and whether to talk about
it… to discuss political views.”

According to Berners-Lee, we “use the internet to inform
ourselves as voters in a democracy… we use the internet
to decide what is true and what is not.

“We use the internet for healthcare and social interaction.

“There will be a huge commercial pressure to release this
data,” he said. “The principle should be that it is not to
be collected in the first place.”

The implications are clear: Consumers will change their
behavior if they suspect that sensitive data will be
shared with third-party interests.

Nothing about BT makes it immune to the otherwise immutable
laws of physics. Instead, we should recognize it for what
it is: pure, unadulterated, high-tech snake oil — an
arrogant subset of the same convoluted logic that suggests
that who you talk to is somehow more important than what
you have to say.

All of the above notwithstanding, the potential for abuse
inherent in BT is staggering, and far outweighs any
presumed benefits. And speaking of benefits, where exactly
is the BT upside, a 17% lift on an already subatomic .2%
clickthrough? Advertisers, get serious: BT does nothing
for you except insult your customers, drain your budget,
and potentially injure your brand in the process. Much
better instead to pause and reconsider our obsessions with
targeting technologies — all of which have done nothing
in aggregate but conspire to drive down performance and
drive up costs.

Much better instead to reinvest your time and money in
the fundamentals of a good message and better online
destination experiences. Challenge your agency to explore
and learn how — in an on-demand media universe — to let
your audience target you.

———————————————————–

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

———————————————————–

“What’s this whole world coming to?
Things just ain’t the same,
any time the hunter gets captured by the game.”
– Smoky Robinson

Back in 1994, I devoted one of my weekly MediaDailyNews
columns to the unsuccessful search for an antonym for the
word predatory — used by a friend to describe the entire
digital marketing industry. Now, half a decade later and
no closer to success, it’s time to revisit the whole
marketer-as-predator theme…

Predators are hunters; they target, stalk and attack –
just like digital media professionals. Evidence of our
carnivorous behavior is found everywhere we look. Even
the most casual survey reveals that the vast majority of
digital marketing trade articles introduce, explore and
debate technologies designed to target and deliver market-
ing messages — this, despite the fact that our intended
prey seems more than ever determined to avoid them at all
costs. More disturbing still is the reverse technology-to-
performance ratio that accompanies this massive cat and
mouse game; the more time and money we invest in targeting
technologies, the more performance declines.

————————————————————
“This is a love story. A true love story” – Barbara Walters
Christian The Lion DVD – The Full Story of Christian

List Price: $49.99
Our Price: $19.99

Here is the beautiful, all true story, about Christian the
Lion. After years of being raised around humans, Christian
considers himself a human too. Follow his story as he is
introduced to the wild African plains for the first time
in his life. And then the whole, full story of the reunion
of Christian with the folks who raised them…. You won’t
believe how your heart will melt!

“More than 40 million people have viewed this
very special love story” – Oprah

“It’s something to see”- Joy Behar, The View

“It’s so uplifting… I Wept Like A Baby”
– Meredith Viera, Today Show

SPECIAL BONUS: You Get two bonus movies free:
- The Great Dan Patch – Cute & Cuddly Critters

That’s three movies on two DVDs for $19.99… a $30 savings.
To see a video clip from the DVD or order, visit:
VISIT: Christian The Lion DVD – The Full Story of Christian
————————————————————

The jury is in, folks, and the verdict against the digital
marketing industry is guilty by reason of insanity
(defined as doing the same thing over and over and expect-
ing different results). Our industry labors under a self-
imposed mass psychosis that somehow convinces us that
stupidity is okay as long as everyone is stupid. Don’t
get me wrong: I’m a big believer in ignorance as a key
component of innovation and faith, but stupidity is a
whole different creature. In an on-demand world where
advertising seems to be the only thing no one demands, the
whole concept of targeting an audience that resists every
effort to do so seems not only archaic and non-sequitur,
but downright stupid and self-defeating.

We are so immersed in and enthralled with our own
technologies and corresponding mythologies that we fail
to see what’s been in plain sight all along: In an on-
demand world it makes far more sense to let the audience
target us. To do so, however, requires a tectonic shift
in our own thinking and a willingness to put our obsessions
with all things digital on hold just long enough (on
occasion) to entertain the rarest of jewels in a world gone
mad: common sense.

Common sense dictates that we learn to distinguish between
hunting and fishing. As mentioned above, hunters target,
stalk and attack. By contrast…

“Any fish bites if you got good bait.
Here’s a little something I would like to relate…”
– Doc Watson

————————————————————
Karada Cleansing/Detox Foot Pads

Retail Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99 (for package of 10)

Over 18 million foot patches are sold every month in Asia,
see what they can do for you. Japanese Detox Foot Patches
are all the rage and now you can get them without paying
an outrageous price… get them for 1/2 price while you
can.

The Karada Cleansing Foot Pads are made from bamboo
vinegar, an ingredient Japanese scientists have proven
has the ability to draw out toxins from the body.

These foot patches are said to stimulate nerve endings
on the bottom of your feet which in turn stimulate the
secretion of lymph fluid. Using the Karada Foot Pads you
have the ability to pull out the impurities in your body
by focusing on the acupressure points in your feet. Best
of all, they are so easy to use.

Features:
- Helps cleanse your body by drawing-out chemicals & toxins.
- Includes 10 Patches
- 100% All-Natural formula made with real wood & bamboo
vinegar.
- Easy-to-use individual wrapped packs

Get a 10-Pk for the low price. Save even more and get two
packages (20 pads in total) for $15.98.
Visit: Karada Cleansing/Detox Foot Pads
————————————————————

Common sense is what the Yaqui shaman Don Juan exhibits
in Carlos Castaneda’s The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui
Way of Knowledge when he sets out to hunt a rabbit. Like
today’s fathomless media landscape, Don Juan’s native
desert habitat is far too vast to cover and his prey too
wily to stalk and hunt efficiently. So he doesn’t stalk
and he doesn’t hunt at all. Instead, he sets a trap and
invites the rabbit to make a choice: enter or don’t.
Thus he fulfils his own needs by honoring and respecting
the free will of his perspective dinner. Likewise,
wouldn’t advertisers be better served in an on-demand
world by a model that invites us to participate rather
than by one that hunts us down like animals? Wouldn’t
advertisers be better served in an on-demand universe by
a model that transforms them from hunters into the hunted?

Advertising is an art, not a science, no matter what the
MBA-driven technocrats say. And in the art of persuasion,
good bait trumps good ammo every time. On-demand media
demand good bait, but we respond instead with more
sophisticated ammo and launch the equivalent of laser-
targeted carpet-bombing campaigns that not only further
alienate our prospects, but convert the media landscape
into a scorched wasteland in the process.

Wouldn’t you know it? Just when we need it most, common
sense goes fishing…

———————————————————–

About Jeff Einstein and the Brothers Einstein

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

———————————————————–

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with
the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
– Will Rogers

In Part 1 of Gimme a Break, I suggested that the reason why
advertising doesn’t work very well anymore is because we’ve
essentially eliminated the commercial break from our lives
– especially during the commercial break, which nowadays
more closely resembles a digital feeding frenzy, and hence
destroys the very ad model it’s designed to serve. In fact,
our entire on-demand lives have devolved into extended
digital feeding frenzies, with no time for reflection, no
tolerance whatsoever for intrusion, and no breaks from the
media action.

What bothers me most about the current state of advertising
and marketing, however, is how utterly predatory and
atavistic we’ve become since the mid-1990s, when twenty-
something digital evangelists decided that advertisers
and marketers should a) engage in brand dialogues with
consumers (mostly because there was suddenly a shitload of
new digital technology to foist on them), and b) conduct
said brand dialogues in a thoroughly mediated and seamless
digital world, which of course renders impossible the
requisite intrusion and time to establish and maintain any
meaningful dialogue – brand or otherwise – with anyone.
Baffled and besieged, older, more sober generations of
advertisers and marketers deferred immediately and stepped
aside, mostly because they couldn’t reboot their own
computers without the help of the twenty-somethings. The
days of the commercial break were clearly numbered.

Of course the predatory attribute I assigned above should
not be confused with anything or anyone forward-thinking
or proactive, and is wholly reactive instead (hence its
atavistic nature), far more akin to the desperate pride of
lions that haunts a watering hole during a deadly drought
than the same willful pride that hunts at night when water
and game are plentiful. Thus today’s generation of
advertisers and marketers, all clustered like starving
lions around the same watering hole, truly believe that
they owe their jobs to consumer opinion, and are therefore
compelled to react like lemmings as quickly as possible
to perceived consumer demand – with every digital
technology in their arsenal. By contrast, their displaced
predecessors knew otherwise: that there is no such thing
as consumer demand except to the extent that marketers
and advertisers create it. The good ones knew something
else also: that job one in creating consumer demand was
to create and protect the integrity of the commercial
break, what Bill Bernbach called the environment to buy.

But how can we possibly expect others to take a break long
enough to engage our brand messages if we can’t take one
for ourselves? Remember, we as marketers and advertisers
create and shape consumer demand. And if we can’t control
how we spend our own time, how can we as marketers and
advertisers possibly hope to influence how others spend
theirs?

————————————————————
CAMPER’S SURVIVAL TOOL
Not Just For Camping…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $8.00
Get two for $14.00

While this is the perfect camper’s companion, we think
EVERY car should have one too! This handy tool has a
flashlight… but not just any ordinary flashlight. Not
only is it SUPER BRIGHT, it turns into a blinking distress
light with one additional click.

Tucked away in the hidden compartment are two stainless
steel utensils (Spoon & Fork) that are magnetized to
prevent excess jostling inside the container. Ventilation
holes allow moisture to escape after utensils are washed.

Just when you think that there’s nothing else.. how about
a multi-use tool that has a can opener, corkscrew, knife
and bottle opener.

Lightweight and durable, this multi-function tool will
fit inside a backpack, glove compartment, golf bag and
more.

And YES… Batteries ARE INCLUDED! Get one for $8.00 or
two for $14.00. They really do make a wonderful gift.
CAMPER’S SURVIVAL TOOL – Not Just For Camping…
————————————————————

The following is an excerpt from a recent post I made to
the Oldtimers Foundation listserv:

To the question of how we can affect change in the midst
of our day jobs and selfish best interests, I would reply,
“First, slow down.” Our agendas are already far too full
and far too hectic to engage in or otherwise entertain
meaningful thought and discourse. We’ve turned time — our
only real inventory — into an enemy. We cannot begin to
accommodate new thoughts and behaviors unless and until
we find a way to intervene in our own lives long and
frequently enough to prepare the soil of our souls for new
seeds. We cannot affect meaningful change in ourselves or
others unless and until we reclaim our time.

Of course the reclamation of our time is easier said than
done, but — in all earnestness — I would suggest the
following remedial steps:

1. Change your career objective right now. Aspire instead
to take a nap, go for a walk, read a good novel or other-
wise tune out completely for at least an hour during the
course of each work day. No digital devices or electronic
media allowed (with the sole exception of music). We spend
our entire work lives striving for the moment when we can
retire, put our feet up, and take a nap. My suggestion
therefore is to eliminate the career middle man and head
straight for the nap. You (and just about everyone else
you know) will thank me later. It ain’t about money at
the end of the day; it’s about time, and how and where
and with whom we spend it. The rest of your work day will
fall magically into place once you aspire — first and
foremost — to take a nap as your new career objective.

2. Be conscious of your tools. Move your personal and
professional communications up the emotional impact ladder
at every opportunity. In other words, consciously choose
communications tools that require more deliberation and
deliver more heart and soul — like a phone call or a well-
crafted letter or a face-to-face meeting over an email,
text message or tweet — whenever possible. Always choose
quality over quantity (because it’s always your choice),
and always choose deliberateness over speed; don’t
communicate on the run except in emergencies. Remember:
speed kills.

3. Resist the narcotic impulse to check your email inbox
for the first hour of every day. Each time you sit down
first thing in the morning to check your email inbox, you
automatically put your own agenda dead last behind the
collective agendas of all the emails you find there. In
doing so you invite a purely reactive mindset that forces
you to play catchup for the balance of your day (and life).

————————————————————
Handy Trends Upside Down Tomato Planter
World’s Easiest Way To Grow Vegetables…

Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
Get two for $19.98

I have wanted this item for almost two months. And judging
by the email I’ve gotten from many of you… you have been
waiting too.

Well wait no more… The Upside Down Tomato Planter is here.
One thing I did not know is that you can use this for other
vegetables besides Tomatoes.

The Handy Trends Upside Down Tomato Planter is an ingenious
tomato/vegetable planter turns gardening upside down! Grow
delicious, juicy tomatoes all season long simply by hanging
it on a deck, balcony or patio.

Simply plant seeds or a plant in the wire basket, hang,
water, and watch it grow… yep it is that easy.

This efficient growing system yields up to 30 lbs of
tomatoes per plant. As we said… The Tomato Planter can
grow more than just tomatoes… try cucumbers, eggplants,
herbs and more. You’ll love how easy it is to have a garden
on your patio.

To get more info or order, visit:
Handy Trends Upside Down Tomato Planter
————————————————————

Each of the above suggestions requires time and conscious
deliberation. But that’s the point. We can choose to
intervene in our own lives and industry or someone or
something else will intervene for us — guaranteed.

Advertisers, take a nap, and when you wake up encourage
your agency contacts to take a nap also. Mandate a no-
email period each morning. Get them out of the fire-
fighting business and into the fire-starting business.
Their performance will improve and so will yours.

Agencies, create a digital media-free area where your
employees can sit down and talk quietly, read a book, or
just stretch out and take a nap. Their performance will
improve and so will yours.

Time is of the essence, but only when we honor it, only
when we befriend it. Consider therefore the words of Jim
Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris:
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”

And entertain right now the sage advice of Lily Tomlin:
“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

————————————————————

About Jeff Einstein and the Brothers Einstein

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

————————————————————

A generation or so ago, before the introduction of the
World Wide Web, and before broadcast television became the
alternative to cable, TV viewers actually took a break
during the commercial break. That’s when we went to the
can, fixed a snack, chatted with friends or family, and
otherwise engaged in more recognizably break-like, flesh-
and-bone behaviors.

Fade out, fade in: There is no more commercial break, at
least not in the sense that anyone older than thirty might
remember or recognize from days past. Today’s commercial
break is instead an exercise in media-induced ADD, a
programmed license to pick up the nearest digital device(s)
and go virtually nuts – text an old friend, make a new
friend, make a dozen new friends, make a hundred new
friends, tweet, tweet again, tweet once more, fast-forward,
channel surf, download a tune, upload a video… ad
nauseam. In short, there is no commercial break, no break,
in fact, of any kind. There’s only the stress that comes
from living life immersed in a break-free media environ-
ment, and stress – according to psychotherapist and author
Richard Carlson – is nothing more than a socially accept-
able form of mental illness.

We functionally eliminate the commercial break from our
lives when we populate each and every moment of them with
dozens of digitally-driven media alternatives to whatever
media we happen to be consuming at the time. In fact, the
very page on which this article appears will likely offer
no fewer than forty links to other pages, each vying to
compete for your already beaten and battered attention.
Multiply this single moment in time by the fact that the
average American now consumes almost twelve hours of media
each and every day. Not only do we now spend our entire
waking lives immersed in media, but we do so under relent-
less pressure to be somewhere we’re not (anywhere, to be
precise) each and every minute. The ensuing stress is
interpreted by Zen writer Natalie Goldberg as a state of
ignorance, a destination of sorts for those who no longer
understand that ignorance is a far better place in which
to begin our journey than to end it.

————————————————————
American Builder 26 Piece Folding Tool Tote
Tools You’ll Use, Not Lose…

List Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99

Finally, tools you’ll use and not lose. This 26-piece Fold-
ing Tool Tote from American Builder organizes your tools
like never before.

Designed and built to last from the strongest alloys
available, these 26 quality tools fit neatly inside a
durable nylon case that when folded-up fits just about
anywhere… your tool box, your car’s glove box, even
your “everything” drawer.

Each Folding Tool Tote includes:
- 6-pc Precision Screwdrivers
- Tweezers
- 4.5″ Diagonal Pliers/Wire Cutter
- 5″ Long Nose Pliers
- Interchangeable Drive Handle
- Socket Driver Adapter Bit
- 10-pc Driver Bit Set
- 4-pc Socket Set
- Convenient Storage Case
- Bit Holster

Remember you get All 26 pieces for about what you’d expect
to pay for any single one of these tools bought separately.

Compare to similar products costing much more… then
head on over to PulseTV site to order by visiting:
American Builder 26 Piece Folding Tool Tote
————————————————————

Of course, all of these competing interests per moment of
media consumption exact a toll on all of us (not least on
advertisers and marketers), and drive down performance,
especially when we consider that all this digitally-induced
neurosis is delivered in a seamless user interface designed
explicitly to eliminate any potential intrusion and get us
where we’re going (wherever that is) in record time. This
is problematic only because advertising relies almost
exclusively on its ability to intrude upon and otherwise
interrupt our lives.

Some years ago I introduced a term to describe the percent-
age of each media dollar that ultimately goes towards over-
coming the inertia (the sum total of those things that
inhibit advertising engagement) generated by each medium.
I called it the Inertia Tax, and today it consumes more
than 99 cents of every digital media ad dollar spent — a
fact that digital media acolytes would rather ignore than
confront. Apparently, it’s still easier to sell a .3% CTR
than explain a 99.7% failure rate.

Along similar lines, digital old timer and seasoned ad pro
Larry Smith recently introduced SOX, a new term to describe
an advertiser’s Share Of eXit links on any given digital
page. The more exit links per page, the lower the
advertiser’s SOX, and the more likely they are at the end
of the day to be eaten alive by the Inertia Tax. I wish
Larry more traction with SOX than I engendered with the
Inertia Tax.

Is it any wonder, therefore, that ads don’t work? Who’s got
the time for them and who among us will still tolerate the
intrusion? There’s simply no break in the media action any-
where anymore, no breathing room, not even the remotest
possibility for intrusion, commercial or otherwise. There’s
no time for meaningful relationships to incubate and
emerge. Each additional layer of compensatory targeting
technology drives performance down a notch as marketers
become increasingly predatory in an escalating pattern of
digital aggression — behavior that does not go unnoticed
by our elusive prey. Behavioral targeting and other hyper-
aggressive digital technologies can only further wreck the
media ecology as they change the very behavior they seek to
track and exploit — the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
amplified by a billion microchips.

————————————————————
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR PILLS

Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99 per bottle

The #1 ALL NATURAL Diet Product For The Last 50 Years
WILL Help YOU Lose Weight….

The best-selling and most proven All Natural diet aid
available. For the last 50 years hundreds of thousands
of people have successfully lost weight with Apple Cider
Vinegar….

Now you can get this Amazing supplement in an easy and
convenient tablet form. No more bad tasting liquids. And
it’s even more concentrated in the tablet form. Plus, it
is guaranteed to work for you. If you don’t lose the
weight you want with Amazing Apple Cider Vinegar just
return it for a refund. It’s JUST $2.99 for 60 Tablets.
Visit: APPLE CIDER VINEGAR PILLS
————————————————————

We tell our audiences that we only want to engage them, but
they know better by now; they know that we want them to
capitulate, to surrender, to raise the white flag in utter
defeat. We want their heads — like big game trophies —
on our office walls, and that’s why we hunt them down like
animals. So in self defense they offer up only virtual
shadows of themselves for us to target, then they scatter
those shadows everywhere all the time to confuse and
confound us to wit’s end.

We’ve simply worn out our welcome. In an on-demand media
universe, marketing and advertising can survive by
invitation only. It’s time to change our vocabulary from
“Can I?” to “May I?” It’s time to take a break. Next
week, fellow marketers, I’ll explain how, because it all
begins with you, and the virtual switch between your ears.
Until then, remember the sage words of author Hartman
Jule…

Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax.

————————————————————

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

————————————————————

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
– Nelson Mandela

———————————————————–
DUAL-POWER DESKTOP FAN w/ Intelligent Speed Control
Superior Airflow Compared To Fans Twice The Size…

Sharper Image Price: $19.99
YOUR PRICE: $9.99

Cool off anywhere with this adjustable dual-power fan.
The compact design fits on a desk or tabletop. You’ll
love the that you can run it with DC adapter (included)
or 4 “C” batteries (not included).

Intelligent Speed Control incrementally adjust speed up
or down with the touch of a button! Choose from a light
breeze of full-power with ease.

Powerful high RPM motor runs quietly while providing
superior airflow of fans twice the size. But don’t worry…
it has finger safe blades. Measures: 5″ x 7″ x 4.5″.

FEATURES:
- Intelligent Speed Control
- On/off button resumes air at the most recent speed
selected
- Can run on a DC adaptor (INCLUDED)
- Can run on 4 ‘C’ batteries (Not Included)
- Adjustable head directs air where you need it

Don’t let this blow by you… grab one for 1/2 the normal
price while you can. To see a picture or order, visit:
DUAL-POWER DESKTOP FAN w/ Intelligent Speed Control
———————————————————–

The search for meaning, commiseration, and escape clearly
finds motivation in fear and uncertainty, and it’s not
for nothing that deep recessions typically witness sharp
increases in church attendance, bar traffic, and box office
sales. These are deeply evocative days. Why then are we
marketers and advertisers of the digital era so fearful
of our own power to evoke? Why do we shrink from substance
and seek refuge in trivia?

Offered in honor of Easter is a passage in the Gospel of
Mark in which Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James,
and Salome go to Christ’s tomb to anoint him, a simple act
of respect imbued nonetheless with considerable risk under
Roman rule. They find the large rock that had sealed the
tomb the previous day mysteriously rolled aside, and inside
sits a young man clothed in a white robe, but no Jesus. The
young man tells them that the crucified Jesus of Nazareth
has risen, then instructs them to tell the disciples and
Peter that Jesus had gone ahead to Galilee, where they will
meet again, as promised.

The three women had confronted their fears that morning
when they went to the tomb of Jesus, expecting to pay their
homage, complete their task, and move on with their lives,
the terrifying crucifixion of Jesus now behind them.
Apparently, however, no good deed goes unpunished, and
they are instructed instead to confront their fears once
again, this time as disciples in Galilee. What they thought
was the end turned out in fact to be just the beginning.
The antidote to their fear proved to be their faith – over
and over and over again.

————————————————————
Micro Light LED Keychains w/ Retractable Pen (3 pack)
Available At 1/2 Price…

List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99
Get Two for $7.98

No more fumbling about in the dark! The Powerbeam Micro
Lights project a powerful high-intensity beam of L.E.D.
light so you can see and be seen in the dark.

Its unique and sturdy design, works with 2 lithium CR2016
batteries (INCLUDED!), and provides a long-lasting use.

There are so many things I love about this., like:
- It’s small so it’s not a burden to have on my keys
- The switch is big and easy to turn on with my thumb
- The light is very powerful
- The pen is just the coolest idea and can come in handy

The Powerbeam Micro Lights gift pack includes a set of 3
keychains: red, green and blue. Plus as a BONUS, each key-
chain has a hidden retractable pen.

Get one 3-pack (3 Micro Lights) for $4.99 or two 3-Packs
(6 Micro Lights) for $7.98.
VISIT: Micro Light LED Keychains w/ Retractable Pen (3 pack)
————————————————————

What they and other heroes learned over the eons is what
successful marketers have known for decades: that the
true key to success in marketing and advertising is found
precisely in the confluence of fear and faith. The best
among us search out those fearsome intersections and
confront them with deliberate faith. The best among us
will gladly trade true uncertainty for false security any
day.

But as digital marketers we’ve lost faith in ourselves and
now share our loss with others via technology-mediated,
emotionally and spiritually destitute encounters measured
in the tens of millions and billions. We are playing
impossibly small when we define success as a 17% lift on
a .3%, CTR, and we are compelled in the process to redefine
powerful words like “relationship” and “friend” downward to
meet our own impoverished expectations. We systematically
strip all meaning and substance from our own language –
just so others won’t feel insecure around us. In the end
the medium becomes the sole message, a lonely and soulfully
empty place whose only call to action is more of the same.

Marketing and advertising should liberate and inspire
others to act. Online marketing and advertising does
neither for a simple reason: we cannot liberate and
inspire others to act unless and until we first liberate
and inspire ourselves. But we choose instead to remain
mired in fear. We choose to remain small for fear of our
own power.

Recessions should be and typically are opportunities to
reaffirm our faith, opportunities to rediscover meaning
and recover substance in our lives. Don’t let this one
pass you by simply because your email inbox is full or
because you’re too busy with social network pissing games.
Play big instead. Look for me at the intersection of faith
and fear, and together we’ll forge a better future for
ourselves, our families, and our industry. Phone me at
347-561-4465 and we’ll get started today. I’ll meet you
in Galilee…

————————————————————

About Jeff Einstein and the Brothers Einstein

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

————————————————————

“What’s this whole world coming to?
Things just ain’t the same,
any time the hunter gets captured by the game.”
– Smoky Robinson

Back in 1994, I devoted one of my weekly MediaDailyNews
columns to the unsuccessful search for an antonym for the
word predatory — used by a friend to describe the entire
digital marketing industry. Now, half a decade later and
no closer to success, it’s time to revisit the whole
marketer-as-predator theme…

Predators are hunters; they target, stalk and attack –
just like digital media professionals. Evidence of our
carnivorous behavior is found everywhere we look. Even
the most casual survey reveals that the vast majority of
digital marketing trade articles introduce, explore and
debate technologies designed to target and deliver market-
ing messages — this, despite the fact that our intended
prey seems more than ever determined to avoid them at all
costs. More disturbing still is the reverse technology-to-
performance ratio that accompanies this massive cat and
mouse game; the more time and money we invest in targeting
technologies, the more performance declines.

————————————————————
STOR-POD PROTECTIVE STORAGE UNIT
The In-Home Storage Solution…

List Price: $59.99
YOUR PRICE: $29.99
Get Two Part for $49.98

Most people under-utilized the storage space in their
attics, basements, and self-storage units because of the
risk of damage over the long-run. Tarps are flimsy, and
plastic tubs don’t work for large or bulky items. What
you need is a sturdy yet portable storage unit that will
keep the dust, dirt, and insects out.

Made of reinforced polyethylene with heavy-duty hardware
and zippers, these storage “pods” are a great way to
maximize space while protecting against dust, moisture,
insects, and other issues that make seasonal and long-
term storage difficult.

The unique “ez grabber” strap system easily attaches to
ceiling rafters, allowing the storage unit to both sit on
the floor and stand upright. The straps also insure that
the pod will stay securely in place as you move items in
and out.

Great for basements, attics and self-storage units… and
each pod is backed by a limited 5-year warranty against
manufacturer defects.
SIZE: 26 cubic ft. — 32″D x 36″W x 48″H
VISIT: Stor-Pod Protective Storage Unit
————————————————————

The jury is in, folks, and the verdict against the digital
marketing industry is guilty by reason of insanity (defined
as doing the same thing over and over and expecting
different results). Our industry labors under a self-
imposed mass psychosis that somehow convinces us that
stupidity is okay as long as everyone is stupid. Don’t
get me wrong: I’m a big believer in ignorance as a key
component of innovation and faith, but stupidity is a whole
different creature. In an on-demand world where advertising
seems to be the only thing no one demands, the whole
concept of targeting an audience that resists every effort
to do so seems not only archaic and non-sequitur, but
downright stupid and self-defeating.

We are so immersed in and enthralled with our own
technologies and corresponding mythologies that we fail to
see what’s been in plain sight all along: In an on-demand
world it makes far more sense to let the audience target
us. To do so, however, requires a tectonic shift in our own
thinking and a willingness to put our obsessions with all
things digital on hold just long enough (on occasion) to
entertain the rarest of jewels in a world gone mad: common
sense.

Common sense dictates that we learn to distinguish between
hunting and fishing. As mentioned above, hunters target,
stalk and attack. By contrast…

“Any fish bites if you got good bait.
Here’s a little something I would like to relate…”
– Doc Watson

————————————————————
*——-> Keychain Laser Pointer <-------

This handy laser pointer projects a beam of light over
1000 feet and comes with 5 interchangeable image heads.
This is perfect for teachers, students, tour guides, and
for presentations. Dogs and cats love this laser pointer
too, they will chase the laser beam around for hours.
Get this handy laser pointer for $1.99... Order today by
visiting: Keychain Laser Pointer
————————————————————

Common sense is what the Yaqui shaman Don Juan exhibits
in Carlos Castaneda’s The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui
Way of Knowledge when he sets out to hunt a rabbit. Like
today’s fathomless media landscape, Don Juan’s native
desert habitat is far too vast to cover and his prey too
wily to stalk and hunt efficiently. So he doesn’t stalk
and he doesn’t hunt at all. Instead, he sets a trap and
invites the rabbit to make a choice: enter or don’t. Thus
he fulfils his own needs by honoring and respecting the
free will of his perspective dinner. Likewise, wouldn’t
advertisers be better served in an on-demand world by a
model that invites us to participate rather than by one
that hunts us down like animals? Wouldn’t advertisers be
better served in an on-demand universe by a model that
transforms them from hunters into the hunted?

Advertising is an art, not a science, no matter what the
MBA-driven technocrats say. And in the art of persuasion,
good bait trumps good ammo every time. On-demand media
demand good bait, but we respond instead with more
sophisticated ammo and launch the equivalent of laser-
targeted carpet-bombing campaigns that not only further
alienate our prospects, but convert the media landscape
into a scorched wasteland in the process.

Wouldn’t you know it? Just when we need it most, common
sense goes fishing…

———————–

Jeff Einstein is one-half of the Brothers Einstein, a
creative strategy and branding boutique. The Brothers
Einstein work with select rapid-growth clients to help
define and execute healthy brand strategies in a toxic
media environment.

————————————————————